Spit, Don't Rinse - Proper Toothbrushing Techniques

Along the same lines as how you've been showering wrong or you've been pooping wrong, there's another bathroom routine you've probably been doing wrong - brushing your teeth.

Spit, Don't Rinse

If your parents took you to the dentist as a kid, you might remember getting fluoride treatments. The dentist would fill a mouth guard with foam, fit it around your teeth, and then leave you alone with a suction hose in your mouth. You'd then sit there, alone, trying to keep your face from imploding.

Not after that hose is done with you...

Modern toothpastes have fluoride that fight tooth decay just as well as that foamy stuff at the dentist. The problem is how we use it. See, after the dentist uses the hose to suck the remaining fluoride from your mouth, he/she informed you that you weren't supposed to eat or drink for 30 minutes. That's how long it takes for your teeth to properly absorb the fluoride still sticking to them. If you brush your teeth and then rinse your mouth with water, all of that fluoride goes down the drain instead of into your enamel.

So, what should you do after brushing? Spit whatever toothpaste is left in your mouth into the sink, but leave the remaining toothpaste that is on your teeth. Then, avoid eating or drinking for 30 minutes. It'll feel really weird, like your teeth are fuzzy, but it's the proper way to brush. It took me a few weeks to get used to it.

Other Brushing Tips

When brushing with a manual toothbrush, tilt the bristles toward the gum-line and brush slowly. This has two benefits: 1) it'll help you get rid of tartar, and 2) it'll keep you from having a painful scraping the next time you go to the dentist.

Also, be sure you're not brushing too hard. If you're brushing with your fist wrapped around the toothbrush, you're likely using too much force. Over time, this can damage your gums. To see how much force you need, hold the toothbrush only between your thumb and forefinger like you're giving the "Okay" sign.

However much force you can manage holding a toothbrush like this is about how much force you should use while brushing. Plus, it makes you look like a fancy-pants French aristocrat while you're in the bathroom.

You've Been Pooping Wrong - Sitting on Toilets Causes Hemorrhoids

WARNING: 

This is a poop-related article. I'm doing my best to remain mature, but really, how mature can I be, given the subject matter?

Remember way back when I had that lengthy post about how most people shower wrong? Here's another life-altering thought: if you've been sitting down on toilet seats in order to poop, you've been unknowingly injuring yourself.

The Science of Number Two

Toilets are not from nature - there is no "toilet tree." The modern flush toilet was invented by Sir John Harington in 1596. Focused more on sanitation than anatomy, the toilet was raised off the floor. This makes sense to us modern poopers because we don't like the idea of touching the bathroom floor with our butts.

The problem is that our intestines aren't aligned for sitting down. Like other mammals, we are meant to squat in order to defecate. By squatting, our colon and lower intestine align with gravity in order to expel our waste with minimal effort. Think of it like the waterslides at popular water parks: the long, straight slide drops you straight down, very quickly. The slides with bumps and bends in them take longer to get down.

I can't believe I just compared pooping to waterslides...

Sitting on a toilet is like going down a bent slide - by forcing your waste to work against gravity, you must compensate by straining your lower abdominal muscles. As a rule of thumb, it takes three times as much effort to poop while sitting than squatting.This unnecessary strain can lead to bowel obstructions, diverticulitis (bowel rupture,) and hemorrhoids.

Think this is a load of crap? Feel free to review this study that found the optimum angle of the rectum for defecating. The best flexion, it concludes, comes from squatting. Or, if you'd prefer, peruse this study that timed bowel movements from three different positions. Its subjects reported their average dump took less time and less effort when they were squatting.


Where There's a Problem, There's a Product

If I have you concerned over your pooping habits, you could browse the website of a New Zealand company that sells the Lillipad Squatting Platform. For just $169, the company will send you a platform that will allow you to squat over your standard 14'' toilet. Or, if you're tight on cash, for $8 they will sell you the plans to build one for yourself.

She looks way too happy... And way too flexible...

 Personally speaking, while all this information is fun to know, please don't go out trying to fix something that isn't a problem. If you are having problems evacuating your bowels, see a physician, and consider a simple fix like changing your diet to include more fiber and water.